Monday, April 20, 2009


I haven't mentioned it yet, but my last day of work was March 16. I have been looking, though. When people say "there's nothing out there", it's not quite true; there's a lot of work open, but most of it seems to be $12.00 an hour and lower. Can I survive on that? Yes... Unemployment is giving me a whopping $8.82 an hour when you break it down. But this is just surviving.

I have done plenty of surviving in my life. There was not much money while I was growing up. Mom and Dad did the best they could, giving things up to make sure my sister and I got a good education. I appreciate it more now that I can see it from a adult standpoint. I worked my ass off in bars, supporting the boyfriend at the time... and the money really didn't go too far. There was an apartment fire one December, and it wasn't until mid-April I had a place to live again. Working for just enough to pay the rent and juggle between bills for years. Knowing how to use an orange extension cord when the electricity is shut off. Knowing how long it will take to fill the bathtub when the water needs to be heated in the microwave because the gas has been turned off until payment is made. Sleeping in the back booth at Denny's under the 405 Freeway because no buses run that late at night so I can get home, and the money to fix the car just wasn't there. (That lasted over a year.)

I've done my share of surviving, I think. And I really don't want to go back to any of that. I just won't... I can't. Those years of just holding my breath, putting blinders on my eyes like a racehorse, and forcing myself to plow through all the bad stuff, all the garbage and waste and road blocks just to get to a little brighter area, a little higher ground. That type of struggle for such a long time just wears people out.

I found the higher ground, and was happy. I'm really still here, even though instead of being safely inside the house, I am out on the rocks now which shore up the ground to help prevent a landslide. I keep looking up at the sky, biting my lip in consternation, hoping only to see puffy clouds and no rain. There have been a few showers (such as having a job offer rescinded last Friday), but I am still here... as I squat down and make a few raps on the roots of a large tree, knocking on wood.

At least I do know where I've been, if not where I am going.

(Crossposted from my other blog.)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Making Due

It's not so bad, really, if you have just yourself and your cat, and you know where to go to get food and things. (Not the parents' house, either... they are a bit far away for me to run and borrow a stick of butter.)

Biryani Curried Rice, with stuff I already have...

Well, so I had to buy some curry... 69 cents at MurderMart in a little bag, which wasn't too bad. This is what I did:

About 2 cups of white rice. Boil until done, but still a little watery.
Dump this in a big mixing bowl.
Add about half a fuji or gala apple, chopped into smaller pieces.
Add about half a lunch-box sized box of raisins.
I have no clue where my measuring spoons went, so I took a smaller table spoon and added two heaping spoonfuls of curry. Everything looks yellow, but you aren't sneezing from the spice. (After beginning to cook and taste it, I added another spoonful and a half - will likely amend this backk to a lower amount after getting curry from Little India.)
Add chopped stalks of green onion/ chives.
I opened up a can of peas and put four spoonfuls into the bowl.
Salt to taste.

Dump it all in a frying pan and stir frequently until as done as you like... usually browning the rice should do, I think.

Now, this is all from me loooking at the ingredients of the biryani curried rice I LOVED from Trader Joe's, but not wanting to move my car on Race Day just to go to TJ's and get another bag. Besides, if I have my own ingredients, why not experiment?

And yes, it is good, at least to me. :)